As your eyes flutter open, you find yourself in a small, rectangular room lit with faint red light. The ground upon which you lie is covered by an unrecognizable animal fur: shaggy and speckled walnut. You pull yourself up to sit, seeing the light's source in one corner of the room. A small brazier of peculiar shape, shaded by a cylinder of reddish cloth creates the wine-colored glow that casts shadows upon the smooth white walls. You do not hear the familiar crackling of the embers inside the brazier, but instead a low hum from the unknown source within.
Along the far wall sits a desk; a disgusting amalgamation of wrought-aluminum and unidentifiable, light-weight timber. Upon the desk stands a glowing tablet across which dance beautiful pictures and foreign scripts, the likes of which you've only seen in dreams. The shapes appear to move in cadence with your steps, and you realize that a bulbous instrument atop a stubby tripod listens for any disturbances in the room.
In the face of these beautiful yet bewildering discoveries, you had almost neglected to see the tome resting at the corner of the desk. A finely bound volume, whose high-gloss cover shines bright with reflections. If the tablet's imagery seemed strange, the writing upon the book proves more bewildering still.
"Player's Handbook?" "Dungeons & Dragons?" "FIFTH EDITION?!"
Well, if you've read this far, that means you're probably a dungeon master, and boy do we have a treat for you! In the first episode of our DM/GM-centric series, Patrick and David examine the fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons and tackle the hard questions of "What makes barbarians so angry?", "Where did all those expertise dice go?", and "Does cake-baking ability directly correlate to combat prowess?"